Confessions Of A
Recovering Music Snob

I confess to being a bit of a "music snob" in a former life.

You know the guy behind the counter at the record store who snickered condescendingly as you brought your copy of Journey's Greatest Hits to the register?

Yup. That was me.

The guy with the enormous vinyl collection.

The guy who could recite to you the entire liner notes of Dylan's Blood On The Tracks.

The guy who went straight for your record collection when invited to your home for dinner.

That one actually got me into trouble once.

My boss had invited a bunch of us from work out for a day on his sailboat. After spending the entire day drinking way too much beer in the scorching hot sun on said sailboat, we retired back to his house for some steaks.

And of course, I went straight for his records.

After sifting through the sorry collection of albums by the likes of the Steve Miller Band and Electric Light Orchestra, I made my move.

"So Ray (that was his name)," I asked, "Have you bought any music since the Seventies?". My boss then proceeded to pull out a Kenny G album.

Bad mistake.

My response to that...something about a dentist's office I believe...got me physically thrown out of his house.

I also spent the remainder of that weekend wondering if I still had a job.

Just for the record, I did. After all, where else was he going to find a "musicologist" as supremely gifted as myself to run his record store?

And let's be absolutely clear about this...the proper term is musicologist.

Music snobbery has actually become something of a lost art.

It doesn't help when there just isn't a whole lot to get excited about in music these days.

That just makes for a whole lot more crap for the seasoned music snob to turn his ever sophisticated nose up at.

Or more importantly, to look down upon you for listening to.

All that means is that yesterdays Journey or ELO is today's Celine Dion or Clay Aiken.

It's just that last night's American Idol results don't inspire quite the same intellectual discourse that dissecting a great, groundbreaking album like Pet Sounds or A Kind of Blue does.

Music snobbery is an art that has lost it's way.

Oh sure, it's still the exclusive territory of the usual group of music geeks.

You know the ones I'm talking about.

The pony tailed record exec. The underpaid Tower Records employee with the green hair, the piercings, and the tats.

The stereotypical rock critic that once inspired David Lee Roth to remark that the reason rock critics like Elvis Costello more than Van Halen is because most rock critics look like Elvis Costello (today it would be more like that guy from Weezer).

And it's still governed by the same set of rules.

Music snobbery...err, excuse me, "musicology", is all about one upsmanship.

And the rules are quite simple:

When discussing the next big thing, always go for the cutting edge...which in plain english means whatever band or artist is the least likely to have been heard of. When they say Death Cab For Cutie, be ready to counter with the Secret Machines.

When busted with a ticket for that big U2 or Coldplay arena rock show at the Microsoft Arena, let them know that you are only there for the opening act.

"I haven't cared about U2 since Joshua Tree, I'm just here to see the Arcade Fire."

And pick your guilty pleasures carefully.

Where having an album by the Raspberries in your collection may get you a pass ("Eric Carmen was a Power Pop God before he sold out"), having one by say, the Little River Band will not.

But where the real art of music snobbery has begun to lose it's way in recent years is in the single most cardinal rule.

Know your history.

For the true, unrepentant music snob the ability to counter one man's Al Green with your own Otis Redding is absolutely crucial.

At least it once was.

Somewhere around the time of Nirvana's Nevermind album and the whole Seattle Sub Pop Records thing, all of that changed.

When I worked in music business L.A. in the early nineties, in an office at a record company with a bunch of twenty something hipsters...I just could never figure them out.

On the one hand, Monday mornings we're always this constant battle of one upsmanship.

In an era where "indie cred" was the hipster holy grail, these guys would gather around to swap their stories of who saw the most obscure band over the weekend.

The thing that always got me we're the names of the bands.

At one point it even seemed everybody had a Jesus complex...there was the Jesus Lizard; the Jesus and Mary Chain; MC 900 Foot Jesus...

Yet, not a one of them could be engaged in a conversation about music dating back further than like 1990.

It was as though time had frozen with Nevermind.

And that was about the time I got off the bus for good and permanently hung up my hat as a card carrying music snob.

The "musicologist" in me however, remains alive and quite well thank you.

So point that Sting album somewhere else okay?

Popcorn Parable: V is for
Vendetta With An Agenda


It's really too bad that most of the people who see the Wachowski Brothers great new film V For Vendetta are going to mistake it for being nothing more than a stylish, if ultra-violent, futuristic action movie loaded with awesome effects.

Don't get me wrong, because V For Vendetta is absolutely all of that and more.

But to mistake it as being merely that, would be to completely miss the point. And V For Vendetta is clearly a movie with a point to make...even if it has been somewhat cleverly dressed up as a Hollywood popcorn movie.

The hero of V For Vendetta is something of a cross between the masked serial killers of slasher fare like Friday the 13th and Halloween, and the avenging angels of Reagan era action movies like like RoboCop and The Terminator.

But "V" is no angel.

"V" is a terrorist.

But this is no ordinary terrorist.

"V" is a sympathetic terrorist.

And therein lies the paradox of V For Vendetta.

In the post 9/11 world we live in, the idea of cheering for someone blowing up government institutions like the British Parliament (which are mere "symbols" as "V" reminds us) is not one many people should be comfortable with.

But "V" makes you do exactly that.

Which is why I found V For Vendetta to be such a fascinating, and even courageous, film.

V For Vendetta challenges those conventions.

If you are anything like me, the thing about the first (and only truly great) movie in the Wachowski Brothers Matrix trilogy that sucked you in wasn't so much the revolutionary time stop action sequences...cool as they we're.

But rather, it was the whole underlying theme of totalitarianist oppression (by computers of all things)...epitomized by Hugo Weaving's Agent Smith character.

Cold. Clinical. Detached.

And dare I say, absolutely corporate. Agent Smith reminded us of the everyday oppression many of us feel in the daily workplace.

V For Vendetta visualizes much the same future political minefield, but this time it is seen through the eyes of masked hero "V" (also played by Weaving), who has decided to take matters into his own very dexteriously (even if deformed by fire) knife wielding hands.

In a not too distant future, America has been destroyed by civil war and England is ruled by the iron fist of High Chancellor Adam Sutler (John Hurt), with the aid of jackbooted goons "The Fingermen", headed up by a very nasty guy named Creedy.

As the plot unfolds, it becomes apparent that the rise to power of Sutler, Creedy, and company came through the exploitation of fear created by a national crisis that it turns out they manufactured themselves.

The comparisons in this film to Hitler and Nazi Germany quickly become obvious.

But I have to admit, that as I watched this, I found myself re-examining every conspiracy theory I have ever heard about the Bush administration's involvement in 9/11.

This is a movie that definitely makes you think.

But back to our sympathetic terrorist hero, the masked man "V".

After he rescues damsel in distress Evey (Natalie Portman)...an employee of the state run propaganda television network...from an attempted rape by a couple of the Fingermen goons, "V" takes her to the rooftops to watch him blow up a government building.

"Do You Like Music?", V asks Evey in one of this film's several great lines of dialog, as the 1812 Overture blares the soundtrack to the fireworks over loud speakers in the streets.

Turns out "V" has taken a cue from his spiritual mentor, 16th Century Catholic Guy Fawkes (whose mask he wears) and has decided to send a message to his oppressors by blowing up the British Parliament building on November 5 (the anniversary of Fawkes original attempt to do the same).

Over the course of V For Vendetta, Evey has her own spiritual and political ephiany and becomes his accomplice.

As I noted above, there are so many great lines of dialog in this movie I couldn't begin to note them all.

But here are a few of my favorites:

"A revolution without dancing, isn't one worth having."

"Beneath this mask is an idea, and ideas are bulletproof."

And my personal favorite...

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."

Like I said, V For Vendetta is a movie that makes you think. Even as it entertains you by blowing things up and some very cool effects (loved the knife trails in the fight scenes).

Even if it is somewhat cleverly disguised as a popcorn action movie, there's a statement here.

Question Authority.

V For Vendetta is a movie with an agenda.

It's about time.

Sopranos Family Values:
So Who Gets Wacked Next?


The wait is over. After two years, Season Six of HBO's mob soap opera The Sopranos finally arrived on Sunday March 12.

A quick synopsis of Episode 66:

It's going to be a good season.

Tony and Carmella are back together and have apparently discovered the joys of Sushi.

Adrianna, offed by Silvio in last season's most shocking "hit" is also back...at least in Carmella's dreams.

Enforcer Eugene Pontecorvo wants to retire with his wife and move to a dream house In Florida.

The uneasy truce between jailed New York boss Johnny Sack and Tony's New Jersey Mafia is tested when some of interim New York Boss Phil Leotardo's boys rough up a relative of Soprano confidante Hesh.

Eugene the Enforcer, pretty much emasculated by Tony's refusal to allow him to retire, does the only thing an enforcer can do when his balls have been effectively cut off in the eyes of his wife, and hangs himself.

Tony's kids are growing up too.

A.J. is now sporting a long haired "grunge" look to match the under acheiving, pot smoking slacker that emerged last season.

Oh yeah, lest I forget, and just in case anyone was wondering, Meadow Soprano is also still really hot.

Finally, in the season opener's ending cliff hanger, Mob patriarch Junior Soprano's dementia escalates to the point where he shoots Tony.

In other words, based on this premiere episode, it looks like this is going to be a real good season for The Sopranos.

What sets The Sopranos apart from other Mob dramas is the way the writers delve into the psychology of these characters. And once again tonight, you had Tony on Doctor Melfi's couch squirming away as she brought up the Oedipal relationship with a Mother who conspired to kill him.

Yeah, The Sopranos looks to be really good this season.

So let the speculation begin. Whose getting wacked?

Tony Soprano is the odds on favorite not to survive season six. But it won't happen just yet...not this early. Look for Tony to survive getting shot by Junior tonight, but to go out in a blaze in the season...and series...finale.

Vito Spatafore After tonight's comments to Eugene about becoming a boss should Tony have an unfortunate "downturn in health", the newly slim Vito isn't long for this world. Fish food by episode six.

Phil Leotardo will be crossing paths with Tony sooner than later. Though I have a hunch he'll survive to the end and be the one who finally takes Tony out.

Bobby Bacala unfortunately is destined to meet the same fate as Janice Sporano's former husband Richie Aprile. Which leads to...

Janice Soprano being done in by Tony in the ultimate example of "Sopranos Family Values".

Christopher Moltisanti is an obvious choice here (because of the gig on NBC's Law and Order for one thing), but I predict he turns on Tony and lives to tell the tale.

Silvio Dante is another obvious choice to turn on Tony. But since Little Steven Van Zandt's "other boss" Bruce Springsteen has put plans for a final E Street Band tour on hold for the moment, I predict Silvio stays true to the family...at least till the end of this season.

Paulie Walnuts is going to be up to his silver temples in shit this season, but will survive to play his role in taking Tony out for The Sopranos season finale.

Like I said, this looks to be a really good season.

10,000...










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